Downfall

Rating: MATURE
Category: M/L
E-mail:
Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with Roswell or anyone associated with it. Song lyrics used in this story are by Trust Company, from the CD The Lonely Position of One. This CD actually played a large part in the writing of this story. So many of the lyrics suited it, and my mood while writing it. No infringement intended.

Summary: Everything up to and through Departure is real. Future Max came back in time to force Liz to change the future. As a result, Alex died, Max slept with Tess and got her pregnant, Tess went back to Antar in the Granilith. Max, Michael and Isabel were left 'stranded' on Earth. This story begins during the summer after Departure. To be precise, it begins the day after Max and Liz's 'first date', that infamous walk on the dock, except in this story, Max never got to the part where he stripped off his clothes and went skinny dipping in the lake. No, in this story, Liz walked away from him before then...

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Prologue

So it's over now
Finally
I'm beneath
And I'm crawling out
On my knees

I can hear what you said
Echoing in my head
I'm losing... myself

Now I'm cold on the floor
And I don't care anymore
Cause it's over... it's over


Roswell, New Mexico
July 2001

Liz Parker sat on the wooden bench until the last minute, staring at the ticket in her hand, wondering if she was doing the right thing. It was what she wanted, wasn't it? What she needed? A new start? Away from here? Someplace where no one knew her. Someplace where the alien abyss couldn't suck her dry anymore.

No more alien themed restaurants. No more UFO museums. No more little green men in store front windows. No more Crash Festivals.

No more aliens.

The overhead speakers announced the eminent departure of bus 2717 for Vermont, and Liz finally rose to her feet. This part of her life was coming to an end, Roswell and all that had happened to her here.

She settled into a seat halfway down the aisle, on the right side of the bus, sitting next to the window, putting her backpack on the seat next to her to prevent anyone from sitting with her. She didn't want company.

The air brakes whooshed and whined as the bus pulled out of the station. The sun streamed in the window but its warmth didn't reach her. She was cold inside now, a cold that had frozen her heart and seeped deep into her soul.

When had that cold taken over? There had once been warmth in her heart. When Max Evans healed a bullet hole two inches below her ribs, he'd not only saved her life, he'd opened her world in ways never before imagined.

She hadn't known at the time that love and hate weren't that different. They both had the power to destroy you.

Max Evans had told her that he loved her, that she was the one, the only one, and then he'd come back from the future and taken it all away. He'd convinced her that she had to change the present, for the sake of the future, and in the process her world had fallen apart.

Alex was dead now, and Max had gone to Tess, just as that future version of him had said he must. But the result had been far from what she expected.

She'd spent the summer trying to come to terms with everything that had happened since then. Alex dead. Max sleeping with Tess, getting her pregnant. Tess using the Granilith to take his unborn son back to his home planet, followed moments later by his declaration that he had to save his son.

She thought her love for him could get her past it, but sometimes love just wasn't enough. Especially when the one you loved, the one you would do anything for, the one you would sacrifice everything for, just didn't love you back. Not the way you needed him to.

It had all become so clear last night, when they were walking on the dock. It was supposed to be their first date. A new start. A new beginning. But he was different now, and so was she. He'd walked beside her, telling her how meeting someone 'like him' had attracted him, and it was something he had to 'find out about'.

And in that moment, it had all become clear for her.

He wasn't the same Max she had fallen in love with. He wasn't the innocent boy who had walked the halls of West Roswell High, secretly thinking she was beautiful. He wasn't the scared introvert who had risked it all to save her life simply because, in his words, "It was you". He wasn't the tender young man who came in out of the rain, telling her she was "The one. The only one."

No, he was someone else now, and the painful truth of it was, she couldn't feel his love for her anymore. She couldn't feel it in his touch. She couldn't hear it in his voice. She didn't see it in his eyes. His words were only words, with no emotion behind them.

The Max she loved was gone, and she would carry the guilt of his loss always, knowing that he had become this new person because of what she'd done. Seeing her with Kyle had changed him, just as that future version of him had meant it to, and the result was a Max that she didn't know anymore.

She had walked away from him on the dock last night, and he stood there, not knowing why. Not understanding that the words he said had cut her like a knife. His words had pierced her heart, just as surely as that bullet had once pierced her flesh.

He had the power to save her with his hands, and kill her with his words, and now she was dead inside.

Liz watched the desert take over as the bus hit the open road leaving Roswell behind. She prayed that she could leave all the pain and heartache behind as well, but somehow she doubted that would happen. She listened to the music playing in her headphones, a haunting tune that mirrored the state of her life, or what was left of it...

So I'm leaving now
Somehow
Underneath
As I slowly drown
Finally

I can hear what you said
Echoing in my head
I'm losing... myself

So I guess it's over now
And you broke me down
Somehow
Now I'm faltering

I can see
I can be

I can leave and shut you out

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Author's note: Song lyrics by Trust Company