Dying Embers

Rating: ADULT
Category: M/L
E-mail:
Disclaimer: No affiliation to Roswell or anyone associated. I'm just borrowing the characters for awhile. Lyrics from 'It's Been Awhile', by Staind. No infringement intended, so please don't sue my ass.

Summary: This fic begins where season 2 ended.

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Part 1

Liz could feel the vibration beneath her feet and her eyes opened wide in fear. Tendrils of smoke were drifting from the opening in the Vasquez Rocks and he was still in there... with her. Her heart raced thinking of the danger he was in just being near her. She closed her eyes and prayed to God that Max would come out of the chamber, alive and safe.

A sound penetrated her silent plea and she opened her eyes, straining to see into the smoky gloom. After everything that had happened, after all that they had been through, she still loved him more than she had been willing to admit, even to herself. If anything were to happen to him, she would just die inside.

He suddenly appeared at the opening, alone, and hastily climbed through, drawing a deep breath of fresh air to try and clear his smoke filled lungs. Her pulse raced through her veins, overjoyed that he appeared uninjured and relieved that he was safe. He grabbed her hand with the feel of the ground rumbling beneath them and they ran for safety as the cliff side splintered and crumbled. The vibrations increased and with a loud explosion the Granilith sped across the sky with its lone occupant, headed home.

As it disappeared from sight Max turned back to look at her, with his hand gently touching her face and stroking through her hair and he spoke to her in a tone she hadn't heard in a long time. "I've been really wrong about a lot, but I was right about one thing... To get you into my life, to be around you, to love you."

She let his words soak in, not sure how she should feel, as she rested her head against his chest. They had once had something special, so magical, but all that had ended that night back in October when she had broken his heart. And for what? Everything had gone to hell now. She'd given up everything because the one person she trusted most of all told her it had to be that way. Max had come from the future, giving up his own life so that she could change the past. His past. Her future.

She had given up the love of her life, so that everyone could live, and now what? Alex was dead because of her. Tess was gone because of her. Would everyone die now, because of her? She had chosen the wrong path that night back in October, and now they were all paying the price.

Max stepped away from her and turned to lead them down the rock face, away from this place and its awful memories. As he passed by Isabel, she turned her questioning eyes to his retreating back and said, "What happens now, Max?"

Liz felt Max step away from her and he separated himself from the group. She could feel his inner turmoil, and then he spoke the words that were like a dagger in her heart.

"I have to save my son..."

* * * * *

Liz sat in the cramped back seat of the Jetta as they made their way back into town in silence, everyone feeling shell-shocked from the recent events that had culminated in the revelation of Tess's betrayal and her subsequent departure using the only means available to return to their home world, the Granilith. Max sat on her left, next to the window, with Maria on her right and Isabel next to her. Michael drove and Kyle sat in the front passenger seat.

Liz could feel Max's eyes on her, but she avoided his gaze, still stinging from the reality of the words he had spoken back at the cliff side. Nothing would ever be the same again. She had pushed him away from her and right into Tess's waiting arms, but she'd never thought he would really succumb to her temptation. A part of her had always believed that what she and Max had felt for each other would supersede the life he had lived before, and in the end they would find their way back to each other, regardless of what the future version of him had said.

It was a dream that was now dying in the harsh reality of daylight.

Max had consummated a physical relationship with Tess, something that she had thought they would share together someday, and in another timeline, they had. They had shared a life, a love beyond all loves, but it had resulted in the end of the world. So she had given it up, given him up, but in the end it didn't matter. She had lost everything, and more, this time.

Alex was gone, dead and buried. Tess was gone too, just as in that other timeline, but this time it was so much worse. She had Max's son growing inside her, his heir that could be used against him, to control him, to make him do things he wouldn't want to do, but would have to in order to keep his child safe. She felt a tear spill down her cheek and she brushed it quickly away, hoping no one had noticed.

"Liz..." Max said softly next to her.

She stiffened next to him, acutely aware of the feel of his leg touching hers in the cramped quarters of the car. He reached to touch her shoulder and she flinched, shying away from him, knowing that her actions would probably add to his confusion and his pain, but unable to help it. He had slept with Tess. As much as she hated to accept that truth, there it was, and nothing could take it back. He had slept with Tess and she was having his child.

"Liz... please..." Max said and she cut him off.

"Michael, take us to your apartment," Liz said bluntly.

"I thought we were going to the Crashdown," he said sounding confused. Everyone could feel the tension in the air. The last few weeks, no, not weeks but months, had been hell on everyone. They were all ready to explode.

"No," Liz said trying to find her inner resolve. "We need to talk, and we can't do it privately at my home. There's something I need to tell you. All of you. Something I've been hiding from you."

Liz met Maria's eyes, ignoring the sudden commotion in the car as the others fired questions at her. Everyone, that is, except Max. She could feel his gaze burning into her, wondering what in the world she was talking about, but she couldn't look at him. Maybe she would never be able to look at him again.

They finished the ride in silence and it was a subdued group that filed into Michael's apartment to hear what Liz had to say. Michael and Maria stayed close together, united against whatever travail Liz was about to reveal. Isabel stood close to Max, convinced by Liz's attitude that he was in for some painful disclosure. Kyle stood alone, uncertain and confused by everything his life had come to over the last year.

"First of all, I have been lying to you, all of you, ever since last fall. But I thought... I thought I was protecting you." Liz covered her face with her hands as she tried to figure out how to say this. She looked to Maria, the only one who knew the truth, and her encouraging nod helped her forge on. "Last fall, in October actually, Max came to visit me."

She looked at the faces around her and knew she was saying this badly. How could she explain it coherently? Her eyes finally turned to Max and she met his gaze. She could see his pain and his uncertainty, and she forged on. "Max came to see me one day last October. He sang to me outside my window." The look on her face softened as she remembered how he had looked that night, standing down on the street and looking up at her. His smile had warmed her heart. She shook the memory aside, knowing those feeling belonged in a life that didn't exist anymore.

"The only problem was, I already had a visitor." She saw the look that crossed Max's face. A look that said 'Had she slept with someone else besides Kyle?'. She closed her eyes, trying to wipe out the look she'd seen on his face, but of course it didn't work. She took a deep breath and continued on.

"That night, when Max came to visit me, Max was already there." She held her hand up as Isabel and Michael became unruly from listening to so contrived a statement as that, but she noticed how Max and Kyle remained quiet. She stared right at Max as she continued on, "Max came back from the future to visit me, using the Granilith, to tell me that the world would be overrun, that Earth would be destroyed, all because Max and I had... Max and I had..."

She couldn't say it. That the thing she had most wanted in the world was never going to happen? That she would never make love to the man she love more than life itself, because she had sent him into the arms of another woman? She looked directly at him as her words rushed on.

"Max came back from the future to tell me that the life we had shared, a life where we got married at nineteen in a chapel in Vegas, was going to lead to your enemies being able to take over the world. He told me in fourteen years we would have been defeated and the whole world would become enslaved. Max told me that once our relationship was cemented," she noticed the questioning look on Max's face when she used that term and she continued on, "Max told me that once we had made love, the way we would have the night of the Gomez concert, it would have sealed our fate together and Tess, angry about how I had taken her place in your heart, would have left town and without her strength to compliment the rest of yours, Earth was doomed." Max opened his mouth to speak but she held up her hand to quiet him and she pressed on.

"So Max, the future version of Max, told me..." her eyes filled with tears and her chin trembled as she tried valiantly to get the whole story out. "He told me I had to make Max-", she struggled not to cry as she looked at the pained expression on his face. "He told me I had to make you fall out of love with me, because... because he said Tess was critical to your survival, and she had left Roswell because you and I were together."

"So I used Kyle, to make you think I'd moved on, so that you would turn to Tess and... and by being with Tess, you would form the unit you were meant to be and this world would be safe from the enemies that were out there..." She knew it all sounded far fetched, but so did aliens attending West Roswell High School, when you thought about it that way. "I guess that future version of you never knew Tess had a separate agenda, that didn't include your safe return to... Antar? I guess that's the right name of your planet."

"So," Michael began hesitantly and then the sound of his voice changed to the hard edge of anger. "So are you saying that you changed 'the future', without talking to any of us to see if we thought it was a good idea? Or to get our opinions? What did you think you were doing? Playing God?"

"Michael," Liz tried to make him understand. "Max said he came to me because he trusted me. I begged him to find another way, to go to someone else, but he said I had to..." her voice broke and she fought to keep from crying. "He said I had to turn Max away from me."

"So in all this time, you never thought once about telling any of us about this?" Michael asked in disbelief.

Liz watched Max as he stared at the floor, listening to her as she spoke, but not looking at her. The color had drained out of his face and his jaw was clenched tightly. "By the time I realized something was terribly wrong, you wouldn't have believed me anyway. When Alex died," her voice cracked again as she said her friend's name. Alex was dead now because of what she had done. In the other timeline, Alex had danced at her wedding. How could everything have gone so wrong? "When Alex died, no one believed me when I said something was wrong. And by then it was too late. Michael and Isabel weren't listening to me, and Max was off with..." she shut up then when she saw the devastated look on his face. She had forced the worst possible nightmare on him, pulling the rug right out from under him, and there was no way they could ever go back now.

"Max," she said staring straight at him, "He said I had to turn you away from me, and who was I to argue with him? What difference did it make what I wanted? When it came right down to it, how could I put my wants and needs above what was necessary to ensure the survival of a whole planet? The whole human race?"

"Liz..." Max finally found his voice after listening to her. Their eyes met and she could see the depth of pain that she had caused him. "I... I don't know what to say..."

"Don't say anything," she said blinking back her tears. "I should have told you the truth a long time ago. I'm sorry." She brushed at the offending tear that spilled down her cheek and she turned away from him. "I have to go."

"Please, Liz," Max said taking a step toward her. "Don't go. We need to talk."

"I don't think there is anything left to say. We're different now Max. Our lives have gone in different directions." She moved toward the door with Max following hesitantly behind her. The others moved away, trying to give the two of them some space.

"It doesn't have to be that way," Max said softly. "If we just talk this over, I'm sure we can work it out."

"But that's just it, Max," she said hesitantly. "I don't know if I want to work it out. I don't know anything anymore." She sighed forlornly, feeling his presence right behind her. "I just need time to think, Max."

She crossed to the door and fumbled blindly for the handle with her eyes swimming with tears. She heard him say her name again as she opened the door and she fled the apartment.

"Liz..." Max called to her as she hurried through the door and he reached to grab her arm. Kyle's hand closed over his forearm, jerking it away from Liz and he glared harshly into the taller boy's eyes.

"Leave her alone, DAD," Kyle hissed at Max. "Haven't you hurt her enough to last a lifetime?" He released Max's arm in disgust and turned to chase after Liz.

Max stood in the doorway and watched Kyle catch up to Liz. She stopped as he reached her and she turned to him. Max could see her shoulders trembling and the tears streaking down her cheeks as she looked at Kyle. He pulled her into his arms to comfort her and then he looked back at Max. He could read Kyle's expression clearly. The look on his face said 'I won't let you hurt her again'.

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